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3		M E N U
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6			HOME PAGE			W V R . M O E
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8			WHAT THE F#CK?
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10			WHY THE F#CK?
11						W H A T   T H E   F # C K ?
12			WHO THE F#CK?
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14			DO IT YOURSELF
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16			MORE STUPID SH!T
17						I T ' S   A   W E B S I T E .   M A D E   E N T I R E L Y   I N   M I C R O S O F T   E X C E L   2 0 1 9 .
18			CONTACT ME
19						And here's how I did it. Excel has everything a person would need to make a web page. The menu on the left for example, is a set of four columns. Using the Fill Colour tool in the Font panel, it's possible to change the background colour of those four columns to anything the web designer may want. In this particular case, I chose a nice light grey. Next, it's best to resize the columns appropriately. To the far right of those four menu columns is an entirely blank column, meant for spacing. The same goes for the column on the far left of the four menu columns. This leaves a nice buffer between the menu and any other content. Along the top there's another two rows, also meant for spacing. The headers take up two rows and two columns each. To achieve this, it's best to use the Merge & Center tool in the Alignment panel. This was by far the most important tool in designing this web page, as it allowed for cells to be grouped and sized according to the content without affecting every other cell in that same row or column. Below the two rows of spacing, there's a group of four cells. After that, all that's left to do is write some big bold text in to act as a header. The big header underlines are made by the Border tool, in the Font panel. Using this tool, it's possible to make a multitude of underlines and page breaks, with any style you wish. Dashed, dotted, green, purple, thick, thin, etc. Whatever the web designer needs in terms of lines will be covered by this tool.
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26		S T A L K   M E
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29			WVR.MOE
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31			TWITTER.COM/WVRMOE
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40													Let's shift our focus to the menu itself. Each option takes up one column and two rows, merged by the Merge & Center tool we discussed earlier. Each has a dashed grey border to separate the items. The page option is written in column C, and to the left of that in column B is an icon that can be added through the Illustration panel in the Insert menu. I had considered adding photos to this web page, but they aren't really built in to Microsoft Excel in the same way icons are built in, so it felt like cheating. Once you've got the icons next to the options, all that's left is to highlight each menu option and right click it to hyperlink it to either another sheet within the Excel Workbook or an outbound link. After that, it's pretty much rinse and repeat for the rest of your sections and pages. Once you've got your web page how you like it, save it as an Excel Workbook for safe keeping, and then save another copy as a web page. From there all that's left to do is upload the file and it's folder to any hosting company you wish, and hook it up to a domain name. Once you've done that, you can say you've built your very own man-made horror beyond your comprehension. Congratulations! Sure, it's a bit basic. It doesn't have viewport scaling, for example. User interaction is... minimal. And animations are non-existent. But doesn't it remind you of a simpler time? A better time? Before all this fancy JavaScript and such? Sure, it may just be a shitty little web page and a high effort joke. But it's yours.
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49		R E A C H   O U T
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52			ACE@WVR.MOE
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67			CCØ WVR.MOE, 2022. No rights reserved.
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